


Burning Like a Fire Gone Wild

by jacksparrow589



Series: The js589 Shirbert Soundtrack [1]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: A healthy amount of making out, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gilbert sorta kinda does macrame, I promise it's relevant, Really just like a touch of angst, Sharing a Bed, Shirbert, long stares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23978245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksparrow589/pseuds/jacksparrow589
Summary: Cole felt the blood draining from his face.Anne.He glanced desperately around for his friend. Finally, he approached one of the dock workers. "Excuse me, have you seen a young lady with red hair wearing a blue dress?""Th' lass's over there." The man pointed between several people to where Anne sat on one end of a bench, her head in her hands.Cole pushed his way through the crowd. "Anne..." He grabbed her hands and sat. Anne wrapped her arms around him, a fresh wave of sobs overtaking her."Th-they've posted lists of... of the injured and... and k-killed," Anne choked through her tears, "but they d-don't know... all the names yet. Even though it's been a day. They're saying that... that some may have be-been too disfigured to have... to have been identified. H-he... Gilbert... He could be among them!"------A horrifying accident derails Anne and Gilbert's plans for the beginning of their summer break after their first year apart. Their reunion sees them realizing just how precious their time together is. Told from Anne's POV.
Relationships: Cole Mackenzie & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: The js589 Shirbert Soundtrack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728880
Comments: 65
Kudos: 191





	Burning Like a Fire Gone Wild

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a new series! Each story will be inspired by (and most likely written while listening to on repeat) a song that has some Shirbert-y aspect to it. Or songs that just make for a good story. I think the song for this one—"Waiting For Love" by Avicii—is a bit of both. Future stories won't all be a part of the same continuity, though I will try to denote when two stories might take place in the same continuity.

_**Monday** _

It was a gloriously warm, sunny day; the perfect day to be fetching one's beau from the ferry dock. Anne and Diana had stayed an extra week in Charlottetown with Cole and Aunt Jo, enjoying a rather more lax start to the summer break than they'd be afforded in Avonlea. Anne had made up for missing the Cuthberts by taking a day trip home the week previous.

Cole frowned as he made his way to the dock. Anne had been out far too long. Even though he and Diana had teased Anne mercilessly about taking the long way home with Gilbert, something had just felt wrong. Diana had wanted to come with, but Aunt Jo had held her back for a private cup of tea. Given the unusual crowd as Cole neared the dock, that might have been for the best. His unease was increasing dramatically as the shocked murmurs and whispers started giving way to cries and sobs.

"...Again, we do not have all the details at this time, but stations where those aboard might have been bound are being informed as we know more. At this time, we know only that the outbound train from Toronto partially derailed down an embankment into the Rouge River shortly after leaving the station. There were one hundred and twenty aboard. Nineteen were killed, twenty four were gravely injured, and another forty three were less severely injured. Four remain unaccounted for."

Cole felt the blood draining from his face. _Anne._ He glanced desperately around for his friend. Finally, he approached one of the dock workers. "Excuse me, have you seen a young lady with red hair wearing a blue dress?"

"Th' lass's over there." The man pointed between several people to where Anne sat on one end of a bench, her head in her hands.

Cole pushed his way through the crowd. "Anne..." He grabbed her hands and sat. Anne wrapped her arms around him, a fresh wave of sobs overtaking her.

"Th-they've posted lists of... of the injured and... and k-killed," Anne choked through her tears, "but they d-don't know... all the names yet. Even though it's been a day. They're saying that... that some may have be-been too disfigured to have... to have been identified. H-he... Gilbert... He could be among them!"

Cole didn't know what to say. There was no way to know. "We can telegram his roommate on the way home, but staying here isn't going to do us any good. Come on, Anne."

"We-we have to send word to Bash. To Matthew and Marilla. They need to know that... that we won't be home today. That we're waiting for news."

"We'll do that, too," Cole assured her. "But we have to keep going."

Anne nodded, turning in on herself as they made their way back. When they stopped to send off telegrams, Anne sat nearby and stared blankly at whatever was in front of her. It made Cole want to cry, himself: this wasn't Anne.

Upon reaching Aunt Jo's house, Anne was quickly enfolded in Diana's arms, Diana taking up the mantle of weeping as Anne was out of tears. Aunt Jo finally managed to convince some tea, toast, and broth down Anne before Anne retired to bed for the night, where Diana and Cole sat by her bedside. Cole held Anne's hands, and Diana climbed up onto the bed to stroke Anne's hair. Still, as the hours wore on impossibly slowly, sleep evaded them. The silence at least was tolerable: a sort of knowing emptiness they could all take refuge in, and so, left with no better option, that was what they continued to do.

* * *

* * *

_**Tuesday** _

"Maybe he wasn't on the train," Diana suggested the next morning at breakfast.

The three young adults had moved to a sitting room in the middle of the night, miserably unable to stay apart. They'd all slept fitfully in chairs and on chaises. Aunt Jo had called for breakfast to be served to them _in situ_ , and had joined them in her own dressing gown, not quite ready to take charge and force the young ones to face reality.

Anne shook her head. "He'd have sent word right away if he'd missed it," she pointed out.

Diana's only response was an unhappy look. Cole sighed; Anne was right.

It took another hour after they'd finished eating (if you could call the three bites of toast Anne had managed "eating") for Diana to convince Anne to get dressed, offering to do her hair and to have Anne do hers. It was a bit of a comforting distraction for the girls, and Cole sat by for a while, remarking at how much artistry went into even the simple styles his friends were using today, and suggesting a short walk after they were finished.

It was a quiet stroll, but Anne was almost smiling by the time they returned. However, when Rollings presented the trio with a telegram for Anne from Gilbert's roommate Martin when they returned, Anne's smile immediately vanished and she paled. Cole offered to read it for her, but Anne declined, taking the note with shaking hands.

NO NEWS YET STOP ALL MEDICAL STUDENTS BEING SECONDED TO ASSIST AT HOSPITAL STOP THINK HE IS SLEEPING THERE STOP WILL SEND WORD WHEN I FIND HIM STOP

Everyone, even Anne, let out a sigh of relief. Anne didn't know much about Martin, but Gilbert had characterized him as someone who would not hide a difficult truth. And, as Diana pointed out with a hint of a smile, Gilbert would be the sort of person to be offering all the help he could. He'd probably telegram today and show up with a large bouquet (Cole added that if Gilbert didn't, he'd drag him back out to procure one) and shower Anne with apologies tomorrow or the day after.

Aunt Jo informed the friends that Marilla had telegrammed to say that Bash wished to come in to Charlottetown and wait for word from Gilbert as well. Aunt Jo had already sent word inviting Bash to arrive at his convenience—her door would be open to him.

As the day wore on, Anne's worry came surging back. No further word from Gilbert or Martin arrived; there was only a message from Bash that he would be arriving by early Wednesday afternoon.

By supper, it was clear that this night would be no easier than the previous one. Anne, Diana, and Cole didn't even try to pretend that they were going to spend the night in their rooms, convening after they'd changed into their nightwear. Cole settled himself reading a book about art, which Anne and Diana also eventually found themselves enthralled by. When Aunt Jo came in just after eleven that night, she found Cole on a couch with his head bowed in sleep, Diana sitting next to him resting on his shoulder and Anne slouched on the floor with her head in Diana's lap, Diana's hand tangled in Anne's hair as she'd been stroking it.

For a moment, a smile brightened Aunt Jo's features, but it clouded again as she remembered that it might well be tragedy bringing them together like this. They could weather it, but they shouldn't have to.

Hopefully the next day would bring better news.

* * *

* * *

_**Wednesday** _

The presence of Bash seemed to cheer Anne a little, at least. Though he hadn't heard anything further from Martin, either, he seemed to have more hope.

"That boy is a survivor, Anne. He is a helper. And he's not very good at remembering much else around him when he thinks he's needed. When... when he shows up—and he will, Anne, I promise you that—I'll make sure he gets it into his head to remember the people who care about him."

Anne had to laugh. Still, the lack of word was concerning. As much as she knew Bash was right, now that they were going on a second day without word (though all the dead, including those who'd succumbed to injury, had been named in the paper and Gilbert had not been among them), her hope was starting to dull just a bit. A hollow ache had taken up residence in her heart, and sometimes she wanted nothing more than to weep, but her tears seemed to have dried up.

Even assuming the best of outcomes, their carefree summer seemed irreparably marred by tragedy. She was angry and frightened and helpless and hopeless and the person she wanted to discuss it with most was at the center of it all, certainly not by choice.

Bash opted not to stay the night when the afternoon passed without word, and after his departure, Anne retired to her room, trying to get past the tenth page of a mystery novel Aunt Jo had deemed "diverting", but her heart wasn't in it. She read the same line over and over again before it stuck, and eventually, she blew out the candle and fell asleep.

* * *

* * *

_**Thursday** _

Anne slept through breakfast the next morning, to the equal relief and concern of her friends. When she did join them, she was exhausted. Even in despair, Anne usually had energy, a will to do something. This Anne barely spoke, and with none of her usual flair.

Something changed around midday, however.

"Diana, could you do my hair?" Anne sighed, but a familiar spark seemed rekindled in her spirit. "I'm going to telegram Martin and book passage to Toronto. I can't just sit here and wait."

Diana had nodded quickly and, with Cole attending and assisting as needed, made short work of putting Anne's hair up.

They were just coming down the stairs to head out when the post arrived at the door, bearing a telegram for Anne.

Anne trembled and bit her lip, but as soon as she saw the first words, her demeanor transformed completely from all-encompassing unease to utter jubilation.

DEEPEST APOLOGIES DRYAD STOP WAS IN HOSPITAL WORKING THEN AS PATIENT THEN WORKING STOP AM WELL AND WILL ARRIVE SATURDAY STOP PLEASE FORGIVE PREVIOUS LACK OF WORD STOP

Anne had burst into tears of joy, embracing both Cole and Diana. Their commotion had Rollings hiding a grin and disappearing with the other post to fetch Aunt Jo so she, too, could celebrate. She was beaming by the time she reached them, having been informed of the news.

The afternoon wasn't spent in celebration, but it was spent much more normally than the previous three. Tea was taken, and if anyone noticed that Anne was eating a little more ravenously than she usually would, none of them mentioned it. She was still clearly preoccupied, however; just because Gilbert could write, it didn't mean that he wasn't injured in some minor way or affected more majorly. It was something Anne knew, and something Cole suspected. The only consolation was that they would be able to talk about it soon enough.

While Anne was still so exhausted that she took to bed earlier than she might otherwise, she was finally able to fall asleep with a smile.

* * *

* * *

_**Friday** _

Of course, Anne hadn't quite thought through the realities of having to wait a full day and then some. As such, she found herself unable to concentrate by midmorning. A walk with Diana and Cole had done little to settle her, and Aunt Jo had finally banished her to the garden after luncheon.

Cole had stayed out for a while, doing a small watercolor of one of the roses. It wasn't perfect, but he was practicing more abstract styles at the moment. He want inside to work on the color a little more, and also to escape Anne's near-constant sighs.

Diana lasted only a little while longer, though she did tuck a daisy into Anne's hair before heading inside. Anne finally settled on a bench, attempting to read again when she'd completed her fifth turn about the garden.

She wasn't sure how much longer it was before the sound of shoes crunching up the gravel to the side of her caught her attention, but she'd finally managed to focus on the book. "I'm afraid I'm still not good company..." she started to apologize before looking up and letting out a short gasp.

"You'll be far better company than anyone I've spent the last few days with," Gilbert told her sincerely.

Anne jumped to her feet with a small cry and threw her arms around Gilbert's neck, tears immediately starting to fall. As Gilbert's arms wound around her, she realized she wasn't the only one crying.

"You're here," Anne whispered. "You're really here. Oh God, Gil, I was so _scared_. And I know I have no right to tell you that since you were the one on the train, but I just—" she broke off, weeping.

"I'm sorry, Anne. I should have sent word sooner, but..." Gilbert took a shaky breath. "It's a long story, and honestly, I need to sit down and eat, but I had to see you first."

Anne took a few deep breaths to collect herself again. As her desperate grip on Gilbert loosened just a little, she realized that his was tightening just a little bit, as though he was afraid this was a dream. Even though she knew he was happy to see her, his fear and exhaustion still lingered, and the realization caused a new wave of tears. She pulled back just enough to bring one of her hands to cup his cheek before leaning up to kiss him, surprised not when he pulled her tightly against him, but when he nearly immediately released her with a wince. "Gilbert! Is everything alright?" She went to grab his hands, only to realize that his left wrist was wrapped tightly.

"It's just a sprain," he assured her quickly. "It hurts, but it will heal in a few weeks. But I should also tell you that I bruised a rib or two during the wreck as well. I promise you, I am fine; it's just painful to apply pretty much any pressure, is all. So—" He took a deep breath, even that causing him to pull a bit of a face. "—no poking me in the side."

"Or enthusiastic embraces?" Anne prompted with a bit of a worried laugh as she brushed the back of her wrist across her cheeks to dry up her remaining tears.

Gilbert scoffed. "I am _not_ giving up enthusiastic embraces, thank you very much. Just make sure my right side takes the brunt of the enthusiasm." He brought his own sleeve up to his face for a moment, then offered Anne his uninjured hand. She clutched it tightly in her left and brought her own right hand over to hold his arm to her as they made their way inside. Cole and Diana were waiting, Cole the very picture of relaxed in a chair while Diana paced.

Before Diana could say anything, however, Cole quickly assured them, "Don't worry; what happened during your little reunion in the garden remains private. Unless Anne should choose to disclose details, of course, but she tends to be fairly tight-lipped about these things."

Anne rolled her eyes and Gilbert let out an embarrassed cough as Diana whacked Cole lightly with the back of her hand. "It's… really good to see you," Diana told Gilbert with the utmost sincerity.

"It's good to be here," Gilbert replied. "I'd like to thank your aunt, though."

"You will eat first, young man," Aunt Jo's voice said from the door. "I strongly suspect it has been far too long since you've had a proper meal, and I will not give my guests any reason to declare my treatment of them to have been anything less than the height of hospitality."

"Miss Barry, you know I would never!" Gilbert was trying to keep up the appearance of being scandalized, but he couldn't hide his smile.

"It's Josephine, my dear boy, and of course you wouldn't, because again, I will give you no reason to do so. Now, to the dining room with you. I've had fish, potatoes, asparagus, and bread prepared." Aunt Jo swept aside to allow Cole and their guests by.

Half way there, Anne realized: "You told Aunt Jo you were coming today, didn't you?"

Gilbert's grin deepened. "I did actually send the message to you first, and then I realized I could get here today if I left immediately, and so I sent the message to Miss Barry and departed." He looked at Anne. "I left it to her to choose whether to tell you."

"And I figured you could use a pleasant surprise," Aunt Jo piped up from behind him.

Anne's smile faltered momentarily. It wasn't the gesture, but the words, and it wasn't as though Aunt Jo meant for it to hurt. Hopefully the word "surprise" would stop sending shards of ice through Anne's heart soon. She felt Gilbert's grip on her hand tighten in response to her hand clutching his arm, and she squeezed his hand by way of reply as she relaxed her shoulders.

The four who weren't eating chattered as Gilbert ate. Cole talked about his watercolor progress, and earned a genuine smile of appreciation when he explained to Gilbert that his wrist was now improved enough that he could at least do "decently intentional abstract painting and drawing". Diana volunteered some information about a young man she'd met at Queen's who might yet meet with her parents' approval. "His family has business connections that should bear out soon, and that's really the hurdle to get over before courting openly."

"You mean you're courting in secret?" Cole retorted playfully, gleefully laughing along with Anne when Diana merely smiled secretively.

"To be young again," Aunt Jo sighed, though she was grinning as wickedly as Cole and Anne, and that alone sent them and Diana into another fit of laughter.

It didn't take Gilbert long to only just politely wolf down the food he'd been given, but by the end of it, he seemed exhausted. He excused himself to go rest, promising that he'd be back for supper. Naturally, Anne was the one to show him to his room.

"I'd ask you to stay, but…" Gilbert cut himself off with a yawn. "After supper, though. I promise." He tugged Anne's hand to pull her in for a quick kiss.

"Sleep well," Anne murmured.

Something flickered across Gilbert's face, but he quickly covered it with a tender smile. "I'll see you at supper." He pressed her hand again and retreated, shutting the door behind him.

Anne heaved a sigh and returned to the parlor, noting with just a bit of amusement that none of its occupants could quite hide their surprise quickly enough. She decided to further confound them by pretending not to notice and sinking into a chair to continue reading. Knowing that just a few hours and no distance at all separated her and Gilbert, she was finally at ease.

* * *

Supper was a somewhat quieter affair. Cole and Diana were clearly concerned about Gilbert (and, to a lesser extent, about Anne), but neither would even dream of asking about the accident. Instead, they asked about the last few weeks of term, which Anne knew from the one letter she'd received had been an exhausting time in and of itself, though nothing Gilbert hadn't been aware he'd need to handle.

Aunt Jo finally steered them toward what they were looking forward to back in Avonlea. Diana confessed to missing her sister, especially after Minnie May had written her a very lovely letter after Easter. It was supposed to be in French, but Minnie May was still spelling most of the words as she sounded them out in English. Anne was just excited to be back at Green Gables and to have the Snow Queen reaching in through her window. Gilbert's answer was that he was looking forward to seeing his family and everyone he'd missed. "Bash writes, of course, but it's not the same…" Gilbert sighed. "Apologies for being melancholy."

Aunt Jo shook her head. "Not at all. I think, young man, that a night's rest will do wonders, but you are certainly forgiven for not being in the most jovial of moods. Now, as you are in charge of yourself, I cannot force you to retire immediately after dinner. However, as your hostess and as a dear friend of someone who cares incredibly deeply for you—" She glanced at Anne. "—I would strongly suggest you do so. Anne can keep you company; I have been assured of your decorousness. I've been wanting to teach three-handed euchre, anyway, and this presents me with the perfect opportunity." She said it so matter-of-factly that here was no room for protest, though Diana, Anne, and Gilbert all had slightly wide eyes and Cole's eyebrows went up just a little.

Still, no remarks were made as they parted ways after dinner, though it took until Anne closed the door to Gilbert's room for both of them to relax. For a few seconds, they simply stared at each other, and then Anne stepped forward and, as she had in the garden, wrapped her arms around Gilbert's neck. Gilbert's arms wrapped around her again, burying his face in Anne's hair. There was so much to say yet, but for the moment, this was the thing they needed most.

It was a long minute later that they drew apart. Gilbert sat to remove his shoes, and Anne knelt to unlace her boots. Gilbert shed his jacket and unbuttoned his waistcoat before sitting back on the bed with his back to the headboard, leaving room on his uninjured side for Anne, who slid up next to him.

"You don't… have to talk about it if you don't want to," she murmured.

"If I don't, you're going to worry." It wasn't a question. "The moment itself is clear as day, but the rest is a blur, to be honest, and I'd like to keep it that way. I knew… that I was going to come out of it fine, but that meant that I helped people who didn't. People who were going to be disfigured. People who were going to die. It was easier than I'd expected in some ways, but even so..."

Anne pulled Gilbert's head down onto her shoulder. He moved to make himself at least a little comfortable, mostly on his side while Anne held him close.

"Maybe… I shouldn't say this, because it's going to sound… callous in regard to those who lost their lives, but you're not the only one who is going to have to live afterward, you know?" Anne gazed out the window. "I haven't been in a train accident, but you know my life before I came to Avonlea was—it was not always pleasant. It sticks with you, and you just… you learn to focus on the good moments when you're having bad ones. And you find people who can talk with you, or sit with you… who can be what you need in the moments when you need them. It doesn't solve everything, but like any burden, being able to share it helps."

Gilbert nodded against Anne's shoulder. "I think… it'll be easier when the physical pain goes away." He wriggled to lie down completely, pulling Anne against his shoulder when she followed suit. "I hit the edge of a seat during the crash—that's when my ribs got bruised. My wrist…" he sighed. "I didn't sleep very much and worked myself into exhaustion—I know, you don't need to tell me off for it; believe me, I heard an earful from Martin after he found me when I was lying on a cot, and then from Dr. Oak when she showed up to work a shift. Apparently, I'd been on my feet so long that I just sort of… keeled over and landed on my arm. I was out for maybe ten seconds, but that was enough to put me on bed rest for a day. Unfortunately, the quality of bed rest on a cot in an overwhelmed hospital is… subpar." He yawned. "I don't think I've slept more than a couple of hours at a stretch, but I plan to make up for it tonight."

Anne nuzzled closer. "I didn't sleep much those first two nights, either. The third night, I was… too tired to sleep?" She shrugged. "And last night, I was too excited to sleep well. But now, as much as I just want to stay here with you, I don't know that I'll be able to stay awake."

Gilbert took a couple of measured breaths, then finally, he suggested very quietly, "You could stay here anyway."

Anne tipped her head back to give her beau a look that was equal parts surprised and appraising. When she didn't speak, Gilbert shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest anything untoward—"

"I know it's not meant to be untoward," Anne assured him quickly. "I just… was going to ask if you didn't."

"Ah." Gilbert licked his lips nervously.

Anne rotated her feet to the edge of the bed and sat up. "I'll… go change. I'm not about to wear my c—wear my day clothes to bed. And I need to take down my hair." She gave Gilbert a half-smile, and he returned a full one. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

* * *

Anne had hoped her heart would stop pounding when she departed Gilbert's room, but she'd gotten to hers, closed her door, let her hair down, removed her blouse, skirt, petticoat, and corset, and her heart was still hammering in her chest as she slid her nightgown on and pulled on her dressing gown. She'd been so tired and so nervy she'd very nearly mentioned her corset! (Though it had been for practical reasons; it was not easy to relax in one, that much was certain.)

She prayed that Aunt Jo was still keeping her friends busy as she peered out into the hallway, shut her door quietly behind her, and crept down to Gilbert's. It was only just ajar, but she tapped it and waited for him to pull it open before entering. As she shut the door behind her, she felt a little silly, disheveled, and unglamorous, but Gilbert was looking at her as though he had to memorize everything about her lest she vanish on the spot. Anne noted that he'd changed from the clothes he'd been traveling in but had donned trousers, and she wasn't feeling quite brave enough to inquire even jokingly if he always slept that way. Instead, she climbed into the side of the bed she'd occupied previously, shifting to her side to face Gilbert as he climbed in to join her. She brought a hand to his cheek and only just managed not to jump when his hand came to rest on her waist. The intimacy of it all was at once thrilling and comforting and terrifying and, at least tonight, tinged with a little sadness.

Anne let out a heavy breath and tried to relax, succeeding a little more when she became accustomed to Gilbert's fingers tracing circles lightly on her back in the same way her fingers swirled through his hair. Her breath hitched again when Gilbert wriggled just a bit closer and gave Anne a kiss that was long, but light.

"Good night, Anne," he whispered as he pulled away.

"Good night, Gilbert," Anne replied just as quietly before extinguishing the candle at her bedside. She rolled back over to face Gilbert and took his uninjured hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze before shutting her eyes and realizing that she was already half-asleep. It was only a short time later that the pair were sleeping more soundly than either had in days.

* * *

It was pitch-dark when Anne opened her eyes again. There was a little bit of starlight coming in through the curtain, and Anne thought about getting out of bed to let in more, but she was finding herself far too comfortable for movement to be worth it. Her back was to Gilbert's chest, his arm still draped around her waist. His breath tickled her neck just a little every few seconds, and her lower legs were twined with his. The top of one of her feet brushed one of his calves, and one of his feet rested against her other shin. She was almost uncomfortably warm like this, but one of them had thrown the top of the blanket off of them.

This was nice. She felt safe and warm, as though nothing could ever go wrong. She moved just a bit, pushing herself just a little closer. Gilbert made a noise, and his arm moved up just a little bit. Anne's heart sped just a little, but as she evened out her breathing to go back to sleep, it calmed down quickly.

Her last thought before sleep came to her again was _I shouldn't get used to this_ _just yet, but it may already be too late._

* * *

* * *

_**Saturday** _

The low light of the early morning wasn't what woke Anne next; it was Gilbert's hand running through her hair. Anne groaned and wriggled backward. Gilbert's hand faltered in its journey down her back for a moment, but resumed as he murmured, "Good morning."

"Morning…" Anne turned over to face Gilbert, who waited until Anne was settled before putting his hand on her cheek. Anne put her arm around Gilbert and pulled him in for a brief kiss. "What time is it?"

Gilbert grabbed his pocketwatch off the bedside table and looked at it groggily. "Seven-ish? I didn't wind this last night."

Anne blew out a breath. "I hope you're right because I can only imagine the lecture I will hear if we're caught like this. Aunt Jo is admittedly liberal, but seeing us… like this… I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking…" she bit her lip and worried it for a moment before admitting in a whisper, "But the trouble would be worth it. I slept so peacefully. The one time I did wake up, I realized… I realized that I was already used to it. That if I had the option of spending every night like this now, I… I would."

Gilbert pulled her hands to his lips and kissed her fingers several times before letting out a somewhat melancholy sigh. "I would, too, so don't take this the wrong way, but I wish you hadn't said so. Now that I've heard it from you, it's going to make one more thing that much more unbearable."

"There has to be some way, some _thing_ we can do," murmured Anne. "If only I didn't have a second-story bedroom, or the Snow Queen had better limbs for sneaking out onto."

"I will thank you not to risk life or limb for me," Gilbert told her, worming a bit closer and kissing Anne's forehead. "I know you know all the wild places in Avonlea; I'm sure we can find a few secluded spots for short naps, at least. And there's always haylofts… And sneaking out at night to said haylofts, preferably through the front door and not down a tree, mind you." He smiled as Anne laughed as quietly as she could.

"I really do need to at least keep up the pretense of having spent last night in my room, though," Anne told him. "I'll see you when we all come down for breakfast in… well, get dressed and I'll knock on your door when I'm ready."

Gilbert nodded as sagely as he could, given that he was lying in bed snuggled very close to the young woman he loved. "Yes, I really only see one flaw with this plan: it involves me being unable to hold you for far longer than I'd like."

Anne rolled her eyes fondly, pushing back just enough to look him in the eye. "Yes, well, you'd like never to let me go, I suspect." She was rewarded with a long kiss and several shorter ones.

"You'd be correct," Gilbert confirmed finally. He relented just a little and allowed Anne to roll out of the bed. He sat up slowly, himself, watching Anne make her way to the door and open it cautiously before slipping out. He set about getting dressed leisurely, still marveling at his luck that he'd been able to spend the night in some way with Anne by the time she knocked on his door half an hour later, accompanied by Diana and Cole. Somehow, he managed not to stare at her constantly through breakfast, though he supposed it helped that Diana and Cole were engaging him in the conversation. He caught Anne watching him a few times, surprisingly unashamed at being caught out even when Cole started teasing her just a little.

The teasing continued on and off through their trip to the train station. As Aunt Jo was not in attendance, having already said her goodbyes, Gilbert was a little more comfortable with responding to a comment from Cole about Gilbert being particularly love-struck by planting a kiss on Anne that had Diana blushing and looking out the window of the carriage window, and Anne blushing and trying very hard not to encourage a second, which had Cole teasing her all over again. Anne knew she couldn't snap back about the handsome boy Cole had been trying to sound out. Cole had given his blessing to tell Gilbert after Anne had explained the terrible game of spin the bottle that had led to her disastrous haircut. Though Gilbert hadn't questioned Anne's feelings for Cole or his for her, Anne had thought it prudent.

The laughter continued all the way to the train station, and when Cole hugged each of them good bye, it truly felt like it should have a few days previous. For a brief while, they'd almost forgotten about the events earlier in the week—even Gilbert—and it was wonderful to have the friendship that they did. It was a friendship that would see them through the difficult times, and it would be one that would see them rejoice in the good times. It would be something they could rely on, and that, they were finding, was worth more than they'd ever thought possible.

* * *

* * *

_**Sunday** _

It wasn't entirely unusual for Anne to not pay the closest attention during Sunday service, but Marilla found herself nudging Anne when her mind was clearly, visibly wandering.

Anne wasn't particularly surprised that Gilbert wasn't present. He'd had the more difficult week between the two of them (though he'd made several more thorough apologies on the return to Green Gables for not sending word to Anne), but his absence in a place she might expect to see him was still jarring.

The only thing that kept her from bolting during service was that Gilbert had promised a picnic lunch when they'd parted the previous day. So, with great restraint, she managed to wait until the end of the service to bolt, leaving Matthew and Marilla to socialize as they wished. Anne would leave them a note if she departed before they arrived home.

She'd been quick to get home, but Gilbert was still waiting for her on the front porch of Green Gables. Thankfully, Anne had dressed for walking as much as for church, and so, after dashing a note off to her guardians, Anne took Gilbert's hand and together, they set off. 

True to her word, Anne had scouted out a small cluster of trees in some tall grass that would keep them fairly well out of the view of anyone who chose to take the mostly deserted path at the edge of Avonlea. After judging the best spot, for a moment, they just stood close and stared at each other. They'd agreed the previous afternoon that in the absence of being able to spend nights together, they'd exchange tokens. Somehow, in the light of day, it seemed silly, but they both knew that come this evening, they'd be needing it more than ever.

"I'd been working on this last Christmas, but didn't quite have the time to finish it. Thankfully, Marilla took pity on me last night, so I was able to complete it." Anne presented Gilbert with a handkerchief. It had his initials in one corner, and a trio of carrots forming a capital _A_ in each of the other three corners.

Gilbert grinned helplessly. "Of course." He reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked at first to Anne like a scrap of old shirt. When Gilbert handed it to her, however, she realized it was two scraps of fabric looped to create an intricate knot, with the ends weaving over and under the loops.

"It's called a Carrick bend," explained Gilbert. "It's a sailing knot. It's strong—it won't jam or slip when tied properly. It's not easy, but, well, good things aren't, often enough." He and Anne traded secret smiles. "It's meant to be used for larger ropes that don't bend easily, but I figured rope might be uncomfortable, and I wanted something more… personal, so I, ah, cut scraps from a couple of old shirts that I had lying around. The other knot is a double sheet bend," he added quickly.

"I love it." Anne pressed a kiss to the corner of Gilbert's mouth. "Thank you."

"The brilliant idea was all yours." Gilbert leaned in to kiss Anne's forehead. "Now, for my brilliant idea: food." He spread the blanket and sat, tugging on Anne's hand.

Anne laughed and allowed herself to be pulled to the ground.

* * *

They'd been staring at each other for the last fifteen minutes, at least.

With a light lunch finished, they'd both relaxed back on the blanket, Anne letting her hair out of the low tuck she'd had it in so that she could at least have that bit of comfort. At first, they'd gazed up through the branches of the tree, but they'd quickly turned toward each other. Their hands had slid together a few minutes later, and for a little bit, that was enough, but it wasn't going to be for long.

Gilbert pulled their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of Anne's, never breaking gaze with her. After a long moment, Anne turned slowly to her side and pulled her hand from Gilbert's to trace his jaw, torn between wanting to just stare at him forever and wanting to hold him close. Gilbert made the choice and closed the distance between them. Even at the start, the sweetness of it carried the undercurrent of desperation, and after a moment, Gilbert rolled into his back, pulling Anne with him and holding her to him with no intention of letting go.

"Gil!" Anne hissed as she pulled back just far enough to speak. "Your ribs!"

In an equally low whisper, Gilbert assured her, "I'll be fine; trust me."

Anne took a slightly shaking breath and gave him a tentative kiss, then another, more confident one. Gilbert pulled his arm tighter around Anne's waist, and Anne pushed a hand up into Gilbert's hair, letting out a quiet moan when his other hand tangled in her hair. She sucked at his lower lip just a bit, gratified when Gilbert opened his mouth against hers, and heat shooting straight into her core when his tongue grazed hers. She grabbed the lapel of his waistcoat with her free hand, startling just a little when he jumped at the touch. "Sorry," she whispered as she pulled back just a little.

"I have no idea what you're apologizing for," Gilbert informed her, punctuating his statement with a quick kiss.

"Surprising you?" Anne offered.

Gilbert gave her that half-smile that never failed to make her stomach do flips. "Not necessary, but I'll accept your apology on the condition you keep kissing me as you were."

Anne gave him a short kiss, then raised her head again just a little bit. Sounding bolder than she felt, she asked, "And if I'd like to kiss you... differently?"

She felt as much as saw Gilbert swallow, his expression extremely keen. "I don't think I'll have any objections."

After another soft kiss, Anne started dropping light kisses across his cheek, then more firmly down his throat to his collar.

It was far from the first time that she'd unbuttoned his collar, but it was the first time she'd done so without pausing first, and even though they'd ensured the spot they occupied was not along any well-traveled path, she was still just a little nervous. The anxiety trickled away, replaced by satisfaction at the familiar sound and sensation of Gilbert's breathing and heartbeat speeding up under her ministrations. Feeling daring, she unfastened the next two buttons on his shirt, exploring the newly revealed skin with her lips and hands. She couldn't help feeling a little inexpert, but shook it off on realizing that it really wasn't different to the kissing she'd been doing before. Gilbert was doing his best to stay quiet, but a few quietly encouraging moans had slipped out, and a slightly louder one escaped when Anne, in her quest back up to Gilbert's mouth, brushed the heel of her hand up his chest.

As soon as her lips met his again, Gilbert tightened the arm around Anne's back and quickly rolled so that she was under him. Anne drew in a sharp gasp, and Gilbert pulled back. "Is everything... Is this alright?"

It was Anne's turn to swallow, her cheeks flushed and her chest heaving just a little as she nodded. Her heart raced as Gilbert lowered his mouth to hers again for a moment before he broke away and over to by her ear.

"May I?" he whispered.

Anne tried to speak, but couldn't quite get coherent words out. Instead, she tightened the arm around Gilbert's shoulders and buried her hand even more deeply his hair as she nodded once. She let herself lose track of time and even a little bit of reality as Gilbert wound kisses down her neck, softer than hers had been on him. A near-silent sigh escaped her as Gilbert undid the first button on her blouse and pressed the gentlest possible kiss to the hollow of her throat. A scorching feeling licked up inside her as the next two buttons came free, revealing down to a strip of chemise and just the top of her corset. Anne couldn't help a low moan when Gilbert placed a searing kiss at the lowest point where fabric met skin. Only semi-conscious of doing so, she arched her back, trying not to writhe too much, but not entirely in control of what she was doing, and not at all in control of what was stirring inside her.

"Gil," she managed to gasp.

At the sound of his name, Gilbert pulled away immediately. "Did I go too far? Do you want me to stop?"

Anne shook her head. "Not really, and absolutely not," she murmured. She licked her lips before continuing, "But, that said, it's probably... not a good idea to keep—to go any further."

Gilbert sighed. "You're right." He levered himself up just enough for Anne to redo the two lower buttons with shaking hands. After she'd finished, he slowly lowered back down to nuzzle Anne's neck, then started pressing kisses to her cheek seemingly at random.

"Dare I ask?" Anne wanted to know.

Gilbert looked up to find that her eyes were closed and she was smiling contentedly. "I'm appreciating your freckles, of course," he replied easily.

"You are aware I have a great many, right?" she inquired laughingly.

"Yes; I expect I'll be rather busy this afternoon," Gilbert replied smoothly.

Anne opened one eye. "Gilbert Blythe, that may be the most audacious thing you have ever said to me." She closed her eyes again and paused briefly before informing him, "I hope you intend to make good on it."

Gilbert froze again. _Oh God._ "On second thought, love, perhaps we ought to, um, position ourselves a little less compromisingly?" When Anne opened both eyes this time to frown at him, he clarified, "Even like this, if I don't stop now, I'm not sure I'll remain capable of doing so, and I'm not sure how long our luck will actually hold on remaining undiscovered."

Anne let out a long-suffering sigh as Gilbert shifted his weight to lie facing her, buttoning his shirt back up as Anne rolled to face him, re-fastening her own final button. "Propriety is _such_ a bear," she muttered. She seemed to realize she'd said it out loud only after she saw the slightly hungry smirk Gilbert threw her way. She cleared her throat and blushed.

"I don't disagree," Gilbert told her, "But for now, at least, there do need to be some limits."

Anne made a noise of agreement, but looked pensive. "I know, it's only just... There's a part of me that's saying that... that I almost lost you. That I would never have... been able to—to have these thrilling moments with you if things had been even a little different. Of course I want to talk with you and laugh with you and cry with you and figure life out together, but when we... someday..." Anne trailed off helplessly.

Gilbert gathered her to him, murmuring into her hair, "I know. I've had the same thoughts, believe me. I want every part of a future with you: the everyday and the momentous, the good and the bad, the mental and emotional and spiritual... and the physical." He chuckled a bit grimly. "I'll admit that this exact scenario wasn't quite the first thing I thought as everything was happening, but I can truthfully say that I was thinking of you, even when it was clear everything was going to be okay." More quietly, he apologized, "I really am sorry for not sending word. That was stupid of me. Martin certainly gave me an earful for it."

Anne laughed once very softly. "Remind me to send him a thank you note. What did he say, exactly?"

"That I'm lucky to have such a caring, understanding, concerned sweetheart," Gilbert replied, "before proceeding to insult my intelligence and carelessness in every way possible. He was right. I am an undeserving idiot, but Anne, I am so grateful to be yours, and I promise to tell you that more from now on."

"Yes, well, I'm sure Martin will see to that," Anne teased, though tears threatened to reveal just how affected she really was by Gilbert's words.

"The point is that he shouldn't have to." Gilbert sounded just a little upset. "I should know better. I should—" He was surprised when Anne stopped his words with a kiss.

"I'm not disagreeing. But I know you're going to make mistakes. And this week… it's not been easy in any regard. So, I accept your apology, but just now, I'd like to move past it." Her expression was the definition of sincerity.

Gilbert sighed. "Well, in that case, let me make good on my promise right now: I am still an undeserving idiot, and I am still so grateful to be yours."

"Well, I'm glad that much hasn't changed in two minutes," Anne told him before kissing him once more, then deciding that, in the best interest of continuing their embrace, she should ease herself back on top of him.

Gilbert didn't complain.

* * *

A couple hours later, Gilbert and Anne had made their way back to the Blythe-LaCroix house. Anne had said hello to the other residents and particularly marveling at Dellie, who now toddling about and pointing and exclaiming loudly at whatever caught her attention.

However, it had come to the point that she could no longer delay her return to Green Gables. Gilbert had walked her half way back and was now pulling her into one last embrace, at least until supper that night. (Now that they were home, Marilla and Hazel had coordinated a roast dinner to celebrate the students' return for the summer, and it seemed even more necessary in light of the past week's events.)

"It's only a few hours," Anne breathed, her tone telling Gilbert that she was saying it to herself more than to him.

Still, he responded by tilting Anne's chin up so he could kiss her again. Anne clung to him for a moment, then drew back with several sweeter, lighter kisses.

"That'll hold you until then?" Gilbert wanted to know.

Anne shook her head playfully, but her words—"No amount of that will ever be enough"—were meant completely sincerely.

Gilbert sighed out a laugh and reluctantly released Anne, his hands sliding along her sides. Anne couldn't quite feel it like she wanted to, but she could well imagine how it would someday. The fabric wrapped around her wrist was a reminder of their desire to support each other in getting there, even if it was too early for a certain other token of intent.

At least for now, there was one other thing they would never tire of.

"I love you very much, Gil."

"And I love you just as much, Anne."

Anne pulled Gilbert back in for one more brief kiss, and started back home again, knowing, though she could see neither of them, that the smile on her face was the same as the one on Gilbert's: loving, tender, and, most simply and importantly, _there._

**Author's Note:**

> Whew, what a ride! I started writing this probably three weeks ago, but man, life has intervened since then! Nothing big, but just enough small things that piled up to a lack of inspiration and writing time. I'm glad I'm finally putting this 8k word labor of love out there for all of you to see! Though it is definitely past my bedtime, so if you should see any editing mistakes, shoot me a message or something. (Either in a comment, or find me on tumblr (js589).  
> Now, for a bit of housekeeping: It's come to the attention of myself and a few other writers that AO3 has had… issues keeping multichapter stories in the correct order in the listings recently. If you haven't seen your favorite story update and you know the author tries to keep to a schedule, click on it and see if it maybe had an update you missed. If you see this happening, definitely bring it to the attention of the writer (but gently; please don't pester them) and AO3 if you can. It's a weird bug, and a frustrating one for both writers and readers.  
> And, as always, please let me know what you thought, even if it's just "I liked this" or squealing. I love knowing what y'all have to say!  
> EDIT: Okay, y'all, to settle this, there WILL be a Gilbert POV edition of this fic. You want it, I want it, and you're getting it. Not committing to a timeline, 'cause that ain't me, but I am actively working on it.


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